


The Northern Letter

by GigiBeBabe



Category: Shades of Magic - V. E. Schwab
Genre: Brothercest if you squint oops, Kell gets railed lmao, Lila is genuinely the only person with a braincell, M/M, Sailing, but not by Rhy I swear, canon typical self harm, the whole ship knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 06:55:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30051633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GigiBeBabe/pseuds/GigiBeBabe
Summary: Rhy sends Alucard and Kell on a mission up north and loneliness takes its toll. Kell and Alucard begin to change how they view each other for the better and nothing will ever be the same for the three of them.
Relationships: Alucard Emery/Kell Maresh, Alucard Emery/Kell Maresh/Rhy Maresh
Kudos: 4





	The Northern Letter

**Author's Note:**

> I don't traditionally ship Kell and Rhy but this happened so yeah...Started writing it, had a breakdown...bon appetité.

Alucard did not think he would ever tire of the warm light that glowed from under the door of Rhy’s bedchamber.

The royal rooms were always well stocked with candles, and Rhy loved to burn them. The warmth pierced the darkness of the hallway as the door opened. Rhy must have heard his footsteps for he met him in the doorway. It didn’t take long after the first few steps into the room for them to find each other’s lips. Kissing Rhy would never get old. Alucard did not hesitate to take the king’s lower back into his arms, taking a breath before leaning to the softness of Rhy’s neck and holding a breath before Rhy held his jaw to stop him.

“I did not call you in here for this.”

Alucard sighed.

“I’ve been swindled.”

Rhy laughed.

“You have not, you are still technically serving your king.”

Alucard’s indignancy sobered as Rhy turned away to look over at a desk full of papers. 

“I need you to do something for me.” He straightened his back, still in his court clothes. Alucard felt a twinge of pain at the thought. Rhy wasn’t supposed to be king. Not truly. Not yet.

“I need you to take a letter to the northern kingdom.”

There wasn’t any surprise at the request. Alucard knew what trust meant in a royal court, and he was proud to have it but the thought leaving the palace for ice covered waters still wasn’t pleasant.

“I will. Who is it going to and why?” Alucard asked carefully, knowing that Rhy could deny him that information if he wanted to. The king appraised him for a moment.

“There is newfound hope of peaceful interaction between our kingdoms. There were northerners among the Silvers when the city fell, and they have told their people about what we did. They think we are honorable now.” 

If the topic pained Rhy, he did not show it. Alucard closed the space between them to take Rhy’s hand, closing it between both of his own.

“I don’t have a ship anymore. You gave it away.” 

He enjoyed the scoff that left Rhy’s throat. It reminded him of a younger, more arrogant boy.

“Don’t worry, you will have her back terribly soon,” Rhy said as he turned to lean into Alucard’s arms.

“How soon?” Alucard’s mind scrambled for a moment thinking about when and where the Night Spire had put into port last he knew.

Rhy kissed him deeply. Alucard broke their lips to make a noise of frustration, having to deal with Rhy laughing at him.

“She’s already here.”

Alucard all but ran from the palace. 

Well, he ran after he spent some time gathering his clothes from the king’s bedroom floor. Now he tore through the streets of London. He tried his best not to look at the occasional empty homes and shops that spotted his path to the docks. Still, he blanched upon seeing the edges of the upper-class neighborhoods, his memories of hoofbeats and dark fog too close, even now. He veered into the salty air as he got closer, finally finding the shimmering horizon of water. An array of masts and hulls rose up before him, but dark wood and a blue roll of sails that nearly blended into the sea struck him, and his feet pounded under him again.

The Spire looked fantastic. The wood was glossy, every sail neatly tied, and nothing was out of place. Alucard blew out a breath of relief laced with disappointment as he realized he would have nothing to complain to Bard and Kell about. 

Mostly Kell.

Noting that there was no gangplank settled on the dock, he rocked up on his toes to see above the railing.

“Who goes there?”

The voice rattled him, but the implication that he wasn’t recognized rattled him more. 

A young face appeared above him, gazing with well-trained scrutiny.

“I am Captain Alucard Emery, and I am looking for Captain Bard,” he declared in his most official voice. Rhy would be proud.

“You will not find her here. She has taken to the taverns.”

Alucard wasn’t surprised. He knew Bard better than that. She would have settled into the warm light of a bar somewhere, damn her. This trip to the dock was not a total waste; he got to see his ship and would know a new face.

“And who are you?” he asked the boy, who had diligently never taken his eyes off Alucard.

“I am not at liberty to tell you my name, sir.”

Well, Bard certainly knew how to pick them. 

“Yes, yes, could you tell me where she went?”

The boy took a moment to think.

“She didn’t say.”

Of course, she didn’t. Nothing could ever be easy with Bard. Alucard did not respond to the boy, only nodded and strode towards his first instinct: The Setting Sun. He wondered for a moment if he should waste his time. If Bard wanted to see him, she would have found him. Still, it was worth a shot, if only just to be sure.

Alucard decided the next time he saw Bard, he was going to punch her, or at least try. The Setting Sun was full as usual, and she was nowhere to be seen. When he asked the bartender, he was told she hadn’t been in for months. She hadn’t come here. Rhy would have told him if she had a royal summons, so she wouldn’t be at the palace. 

Alucard reconsidered that thought for a moment. Bard would not be at the palace, but he knew who would be, and if he found that red haired prick, he would eventually find Bard. 

Alucard left the tavern without buying a drink for the first time in his life and hit the streets back to the palace at a deadbolt run.

~*~

Kell could feel the pull of Rhy.

Granted, he always the pull, but this was different. The walls of the palace seemed to echo the dual heartbeats thrumming in his chest. Rhy was here, and his vision tunneled when grand halls melted into darkened hallways. The hallway that led to his room and Rhy’s was full for a moment, full of light and the outline of a figure. 

Kell’s heart lurched. Steps and laughter filled the hall, and then his arms were full. They held each other, fingers grasping hair and cloth.

“ _ Sanct,  _ I missed you, I missed you, I—”

Kell rocked back with his breath.

“I know, Rhy, I know.”

When Kell finally lifted his head from the crook of his brother’s neck, he was crying. They both were.

Rhy took his arm and pulled him into the familiar sight of his room.

~*~

By the time Alucard reached the gloom of the palace, it was well into the night.

A guard informed him that Kell had been there for at least an hour. They must have been like two ships passing in the night on the streets of London, just missing each other. The sound of the two men laughing gave him pause just outside Rhy’s room. The beginning of the night felt like an eternity ago— his shirt was still mussed from the encounter. He held his breath at the murmur of Kell’s voice and realized he should rectify that fact, tucking the fabric away and smoothing out laces. After he felt somewhat composed, he pushed the door open, cringing miserably as he realized he should have knocked. 

“Alucard! There you are. We were just about to discuss your venture.”

Rhy was notably smiling and, well, Kell was frowning. It was at least reassuring to know some things had not changed.

“Yes, what exactly are you asking of me?” Kell asked pointedly.

“Lovely to see you as well, and I am not—” Alucard was somewhat disappointed in himself to feel how easy it was for Kell to get a rise out of him after everything they’d been through. He wanted to rise further but didn’t get the chance.

“Alucard isn’t asking anything of you. Not yet, anyway. I am.” Rhy’s voice filled the room, and Alucard was unabashedly proud to see that Kell responded to it. The moment it took Kell to turn from Rhy to Alucard seemed to stretch on.

“I apologize.”

Alucard was stricken.

“I—,” Alucard had fought and accomplished many things, but acting civil in this moment may have been one of the most difficult. “—accept your apology.”

“Thank you.” Rhy spoke measuredly, albeit with a smile.

The moment was thankfully over, and Alucard found himself relaxing into the chair, watching Rhy explain the letter and the mission to Kell. It was painfully real in the darkness, seeing them speak and laugh like nothing else mattered. It also wasn’t terribly fun sitting for at least an hour while they only spoke to each other.

“Where is Bard?”

Alucard watched the question strike Kell for a moment. 

“I am not her keeper.”

Alucard pulled his legs in from the sprawl they had taken on the rug.

“So you don’t know.”

Kell did not respond.

A tiny snort emerged from Rhy causing both of them to gaze his way.

“If it’s worth anything to either of you, I know exactly where she is.”

Alucard listened to Kell close the door to his room a little too hard, the sound ringing throughout the hallway. Rhy closed his eyes at the sound. The king was sitting on the edge of the bed, royal garb long shed, his soft shirt hanging open. Alucard didn’t hesitate to run his fingers up the exposed skin leading to Rhy’s chin, cupping his face as he leaned down. 

For the second time that night, Rhy stopped him. 

“You may want to sleep in your own quarters tonight.”

The idea was reasonable. Alucard may have agreed if it hadn’t been Kell’s presence that sparked the idea.

“I’m hurt you don’t want me.”

Rhy let Alucard’s hand fall beside him.

“I’ve already had you.”

Alucard could’t find it within himself to stay hurt. Rhy was smiling at him.

~*~

Kell awoke to sunlight, startled for a moment at the swirl of colors that was his room. There were so many emotions reeling to the surface of his mind at the feeling of silk under his hands and the smell of the palace and the smell of  _ Rhy. _ His gut dropped for a moment at the thought of Rhy missing him enough to stay in this room.

Kell knew he was fooling himself. They had shared the same roil of sadness in the moments when he knew Rhy was thinking of him. He wasn’t enough of a fool to pretend he hadn’t had moments like that himself. He had missed Rhy too. His face warmed for a second as he had a genuine moment of relief knowing Alucard was here and Rhy didn’t have to bare it alone. He stood to face the window, not letting himself spend any more time being grateful to Alucard Emery.

A bubbly young servant had led him to a sunlit room where a table had been set and filled for breakfast. As much as the sea and close quarters of a ship excited him, he had missed this part of living in the palace. His smile was true when he met Rhy’s glance, and the nod he sent to Alucard wasn’t even forced. 

The joy was dissipated when Rhy spoke in his newfound kingly tone.

“Lila has left you a note, Kell. It will be in the captain's quarters when you get back to the ship. She happily took my charge to investigate the cargo ships that seem to always be short in their shipments. I trust she won’t have a problem finding the problem and solution.”

Alucard was blessedly quiet after Rhy spoke, giving Kell a moment to think.

“I still do not understand why we could not simply accompany her and then head north.”

Kell had admittedly underestimated just how well Rhy now fit in his position.

“First, because I need this letter delivered as soon as possible and the three of you do not have a reputation of timely successes. Second, I anticipate the solution requiring no small amount of violence, and the last thing I need is two of the most recognizable people in this kingdom, on one the most recognizable vessels, spilling blood in foreign waters. Lila will not fail and will not get caught, which is what I need.”

If Kell had looked away from Rhy’s face, he may have noticed Alucard’s eyebrows lift, but Kell did not. Instead, he sat quietly, unhappily acknowledging that Rhy was right. 

~*~

The Spire looked even better in daylight. 

Alucard was not about to admit it, but Bard had done things he hadn’t with the ship. She had gotten new lines, oiled to perfection. They didn’t even creak when they were pulled to their limit. The sails were either new or freshly dyed — Alucard suspected the former. Everything about the ship was perfect. He was glad that Kell had turned away to descend into the hull so that he wouldn’t be witness to Alucard’s moment of sheer bliss at touching the smooth wood of the helm. He’d missed it more than he realized. 

Kell emerged from the belly of the ship to shout an order at the efficiently moving crew, and they began to file in order on the deck. After taking stock of the crew, Kell stepped up to meet him.

“Captain.”

Now that was a word he could get used to hearing from Kell. In the back of his mind, he heard Rhy’s voice imploring them to get along, so he made an effort not to bask in Kell treating him with basic authority.

“First mate.”

Alucard smiled, turning his charm on in a way he hadn’t been able to in the fragile peace of the palace court. The crew looked him in the eye when he made it to the deck and faced them. Stross gave him a knowing look. The young man he met the first night the Spire took port was still bristling slightly when he passed him. 

“Crewmates, if you do not know my face then allow me to introduce myself. I am Captain Alucard Emery. I was the previous captain of this vessel, and now I will captain her once again.”

Alucard made sure to turn with an edge of flair at the end of his statement, sweeping his gaze across the deck fast enough to see Kell roll his eyes.

Despite his obvious displeasure, Kell asked his crewmates to announce themselves.

There were twins from a port in the deep south. They had bright matching yellow magic and calm measured voices. Kilon and Nuri. 

Next was a woman with tattoos covering her whole face. There was nothing magical about the woman at all, but Alucard decided that if the woman was powerful enough to be on Bard’s ship, then he might not want to know what she could do. Dido.

Then came the young man, still soft with youth and topped with a tumble of brown light hair. Alucard desperately wished Bard was here to explain how the boy managed to land on this ship, as he didn’t want to imagine what such a young face could be running from. The boy had some fleeting magic that flared around him but was never stable. Elisin. 

Finally, Stross, who didn’t need to announce himself. Alucard came forward to shake his hand, and the crew visibly relaxed at the familiarity their mate had with the new figure.

~*~

The port was long gone and the sun was setting when Kell finally stopped his duties for a moment to lean against the railing beside Alucard standing at the helm. 

They had experienced so much together, and Kell was having a difficult time identifying the feeling that came when he looked at the man. Alucard’s face once drew pure, red hatred in his mind at just the thought of him. Knowing what he knew of Alucard now didn’t diminish the memories of Rhy shaking with sorrow on his unchanged sheets after refusing the servants for days, refusing to eat, having fitful sleep, going through so much pain that Kell regretted making Alucard leave that night if only for the hope that Rhy would have closure. 

Everything had changed, and now it was Kell’s turn to ask for forgiveness. 

“I’m sorry.”

Alucard stilled.

“For what?”

Kell wasn’t ready to say his next words, but they came out all the same.

“For that night. I hurt you. I hurt Rhy. I should have let you talk to him, I should have listened, I—”

A hand rested on his shoulder.

“I know you were his protector long before you shared the fate of his life. I am just enough of a fool to know I would have done the same.” Alucard sounded less like himself and more like a captain speaking to a worried crewmate in need of consolation. It was a sound Kell had never heard before, and he nearly caved into it. 

He sounded like Tieren. 

Kell released a breath and managed a smile.

“I think we can do this.” No words from Kell had ever been so at ease when directed at Alucard. It was like a rope finally let slack. Alucard flashed him a soft smile.

“I think we can too.”

~*~

Four months. Four months and nothing but the steady thud of ice shards against the hull for a week. They had not seen a friendly port for longer than that. 

Rhy had not fully prepared them for just how north their destination truly was. 

Alucard shivered in his coat and let his eyes drift to the cloud that left his mouth when he breathed.  _ Sanct,  _ he hated the cold. He had found some amusement this morning watching Kell flip his coat nearly a dozen times looking with mounting frustration before finding a thick fur lined coat that seemed appropriate for the frost. 

The darkness of evening had settled, and Alucard had found a quiet smile as Dido whispered calm instructions to Elisin while he struggled to create flickers of fire in the oil lamps strung around the lines. With nothing but black water and the occasional blot of white on the horizon, Alucard gave closing remarks to the night watch and retired to the relative warmth of his chambers. 

The room still had plenty of Bard’s effects upon the walls and now safely stashed away in drawers. Alucard had shamelessly read everything he could get his hands on and had even kept Kell awake into the night to ask about what he and Bard had done together. Kell was a remarkably good story teller, at least when he was a few drinks in. 

This time, he didn’t have to pull the redhead into the light of his candles. The knock came on its own.

“Come in, Kell.” 

The door opened. Kell had a little line between his eyebrows.

“How do you always know it’s me?” he asked.

Alucard considered lying for a moment, but ultimately thought better of it.

“You light up the gaps in the doorframe.”

Kell did not hide the confusion that followed Alucard’s words, even going so far as to tilt his head.

“What?” 

Alucard gestured, perhaps a little theatrically.

“Your magic. It’s bright. It shines through the space under the door.”

Kell relaxed slightly but said nothing else before settling into the adjacent chair beside Alucard.

“He misses you.” Kell let the words fall into the air.

Alucard reeled.

“He misses  _ you _ ,” he responded, wanting to move away from the implications of standing between the brothers too deeply again. Things were forgiven but not forgotten.

“No, I know what it feels like when he misses me. This ache is different, it has your shape and… touch.” His voice was barely over a whisper.

The cabin had gotten warmer, not just with the pit in his stomach of longing for Rhy, but also with the openness of Kell’s face. Alucard had never seen him like this, not even with a drink in his hand.

“Thank you,” Alucard said, as gently as his voice would allow. “For telling me.”

Something resolute shifted in Kell’s body, and for a moment, Alucard thought he had ruined something and would never see it again. But Kell had simply moved to pull something out of his pocket: a long, intricate box. 

“Would you like to speak with him?”

It was Alucard’s turn to furrow his brows in confusion.

The box opened to reveal a pen— well, the stem of a pen, with a small glinting blade where a nib would normally be. The realization of what Kell was offering made Alucard’s gut twist. 

“I—I don’t—”

Kell looked at him, raking his eyes from the pen to Alucard’s face.

“It is as much for you as it is for him.”

He couldn’t even register the minor insult as Kell stood up to pull his coat off and move the chair closer to the desk behind them. Alucard watched him blankly before summoning the courage to do the same. Kell rolled up his sleeve, exposing his forearm, reddened but unmarked. Alucard slowly descended into his chair, afraid of breaking the silence of the room. Kell held out the pen. Alucard took it. Kell laid his arm out before them both on the desk, a glowing haze of magic following the limb. 

“Are you sure?” It felt entirely stupid and wholly necessary to ask.

“Yes. I have done it more nights than I can count. I am sure.” Kell met his eyes and held them. 

Alucard softly brushed the pale skin with the outside of his hand as he held the pen and pressed down. The pale light that radiated from Kell’s skin parted for the line of red that followed the blade. Not deep enough to freely bleed but still full, lush, red lines were left behind Alucard’s hand. Four simple figures.

_ Rhy? _

There was no sound besides their breathing. 

“Yes, Kell.”

Alucard startled at Kell’s voice.

“That’s what he wrote back. He thinks it’s me.”

_ Yes, Kell _

The pen met skin again.

_ This is Alucard _

“Luc my love,” Kell said calmly.

He would never forget how his gasp echoed in the corners of the room.

_ Luc my love _

It continued this way well into the night— Alucard carefully pouring himself into Kell’s skin, and Kell’s soft voice responding without pause or worry. When Rhy was wise enough to say goodnight to both of them, his heart panged, but the loss was made easier when Kell took the pen and wrote a simple  _ Goodnight, brother.  _ Alucard’s entire being froze when Kell lifted his arm, taking the white haze of magic with it to reveal a thin pool of blood spread out across the desk.

“Kell, I didn’t realize—”

Alucard forced himself to look at the candlelit face in front of him. Kell looked as steady as the sea outside.

“Don’t insult me, Captain. You have seen me endure far worse.”

~*~

They didn’t say anything beyond the occasional instruction or request during the entirety of the following day. Everything was painfully normal. 

A part of Kell wanted to assure Alucard that it wasn’t as horrific as he may think and certainly nothing he and Rhy hadn’t already put themselves through. Rhy had it worse perhaps — Kell had Lila with her blossoming  _ Antari  _ power that could heal him faster than his body did on its own. Rhy had no one. The palace priests were skilled, but they were not  _ Antari.  _

Now, Kell had Alucard and Rhy was alone.

Kell had begun the previous night with a stout feeling of duty to his brother. Rhy missed Alucard. Nothing was going to change that, but Kell could help him. It didn’t seem like anything more than that. 

Kell toiled with the thought that he would never forget what Alucard Emery looked like when he was holding back breath, gazing at the quickly fading cuts in his skin, waiting desperately for Rhy’s words to form on his lips. Kell would never forget the care Alucard took with his hands to be light and gentle, never cutting deeper than necessary. 

The last time he had seen Alucard so careful and driven, they had been fighting a war with little hope of victory. 

Kell ended that night, sitting on his tidy ship bed, doing his best to dampen a feeling of care and trust in Alucard, a feeling full of charming resentment. 

The feeling beat his efforts, but Alucard didn’t have to know that.

~*~

The darkness of evening came with a dread that was partly due to the fact the twins had to be charged with the night shift, for their skill with fire was the only way to best the dangerously large chunks of ice that had begun to appear. The other part was due to Alucard’s burning desire to speak to Rhy. 

He was nowhere nearly selfish enough to ask Kell to do it again. He hadn’t even been able to see the blood he had shed in his desperation. Alucard had a mean streak, but he wasn’t cruel. 

What he had experienced last night was a gift and it would most likely never happen again. 

Alucard’s acceptance of this assumption led to him stammering in Kell’s face when he appeared in the captain’s cabin yet again.

“Kell, what—”

He stopped when Kell turned back to look at him while he was stupidly still holding the door open.

“Would you like to say goodnight,” Kell asked plainly.“... To him?” 

Alucard didn’t stop himself from dropping his shoulders in some kind of defeat.

“Why would you ask me that? I would spend the night bleeding you out if it meant I got to speak to him.”

Kell wasn’t a fool. He had to at least know Alucard was being serious to some extent. 

“I didn’t ask if you wanted to write a novel. I asked if you wanted to say goodnight.”

Alucard wasn’t looking up far enough to see Kell’s face soften when Alucard’s voice broke.

“Yes, I do.”

It took no time at all for Kell’s arm to emerge from its sleeve as he was not wearing a coat this time. Alucard took his place at the desk like last time and only looked up from staring at the grain of the wood when the long box was placed in front of him. He fought to keep his hands from shaking as he opened the lid to take the pen. Alucard looked into Kell’s face for permission, hands hovering over his pale skin.

Kell simply looked at him expectantly. 

Alucard took a breath.

_ Rhy? _

“Which?”

Alucard’s chest ached as he realized Rhy had moved to single words. He was trying to avoid as much pain as possible.

_ Luc, I love you _

Alucard Emery then made a mistake that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He looked up at Kell just as the words were leaving his mouth.

“I love you too.”

His hands shot down to break his gaze with Kell, who seemed to have no problem with eye contact. In doing so, he had taken Kell’s wrist in the hand that was free of the pen. He paused long enough to know he had been caught in thought.

“Can he feel this?” Alucard asked, voice barely above a whisper as he gentled his hand around Kell’s wrist.

“Yes.”

The thought passed, and he set the pen to skin once more.

_ Goodnight, Rhy _

Kell hadn’t stopped looking at him.

“Goodnight, Luc.”

The desk only had a few drops of blood this time, which Alucard busied himself with wiping away in order to further the distance between him and Kell. The thought that had entered his mind could not be said out loud. It  _ should _ not. His skin was on fire thinking about Kell’s ‘ _ yes _ ’. It was only a touch, only a second. He needed so much more.

“Can I hold him?” Alucard’s voice dropped like lead in the space between them. 

“... Please?”

Kell wore nothing on his face as he turned. Alucard wanted to kill him and die, or simply just die. He would have taken either option.

~*~

They both broke as Kell nodded. 

Kell was not a heartless man. He did not pretend to be elsewhere or distant when Alucard’s arms closed around him. He let himself feel as much as he could, willing his body to hold nothing back for Rhy. He leaned into the heat of Alucard’s chest and the dip in Alucard’s neck. Alucard was careful, only holding the column of Kell’s neck and the expanse of his back. It was warm, and Kell knew Rhy could feel it. A pinch smarted on his side, a painful little thank you from his brother.

His heartbeat sped up when reality set in of what they were doing. Alucard must have sensed it as he slowly let go of Kell, slower than may have been warranted, his fingers spending a second or two on the edge of Kell’s collar bone.

Then the heat was gone, and Alucard was sighing and smiling.

“Thank you, Kell.”

~*~

The next day was bliss or torture, depending on how you looked at it. 

Alucard spent much of his time looking for permission in Kell’s eyes to do as many little things as possible; a brush of his hand, a lingering squeeze to a shoulder, and generally getting as close as possible to Kell as often as possible. The afternoon brought most of Alucard’s efforts to a close when Kell gently reminded him that the crew had eyes. 

He spent most of his captainly duties riddled with anticipation for when they could return to the warmth of his room. 

~*~

Rhy had been sitting on his bed for nearly an hour. There didn’t seem to be enough courage in his body to reach for the sharp little pen on his bedside table.

He knew his face was flushed. The press of Alucard’s body was still imprinted on his skin. Thinking about Kell letting Alucard hold him for his sake left a stubborn smile on his face from the last evening to now.

He was never going to let Kell forget it either. They had asked so much of each other. If there was a limit to what he could ask of his brother, he was going to find it tonight. His fingers closed around the pen and he steeled himself against the pain.

_ Kell _

The pain bloomed.

_ Yes _

He felt Kell hold his breath, and he did the same.

_ Would you kiss him? _

Rhy spent the next moments holding back tears. Kell did not respond.

~*~

It took the twins, Kell, and Alucard himself the better part of the evening to break the mountain of ice that had closed a gap in the strait they could not afford to miss. The time it would take to go around would leave them with far too little supplies. 

The ice finally broke just as Alucard was beginning to feel the strain of fighting natural forces he knew he would lose against the ocean, the wind, and his own frustration. Despite the cold, he and the others dripped with sweat. Alucard had watched Kell out of the corner of his eye, knowing the pain that accompanied Kell’s magic. He knew Kell was far too stubborn to stop when at his limit, but luckily that limit had not been reached. Stross was kindly waiting with blankets and some dark alcoholic liquid that burned some heat into his skin when he swallowed it. All four managed to shuffle into their quarters in exhaustion. 

On his way into the hallway that led to his cabin, he realized he hadn’t set an order for the night watch. His legs protested as he climbed the stairs to the deck. Stross was waiting for him and took his instructions before smiling through a ‘goodnight, captain’ that gave Alucard pause. 

Of course, Stross knew how Alucard was spending his evenings; he knew when it was Bard and was likely privy to how Bard and Kell spent their nights as well. He looked back at the man, but Stross was walking away, lighting a pipe, and whistling. 

Alucard stopped in the darkness of the ship to stare at the white light currently pooling under the doorframe of his cabin. He knew the moon was not full enough and his windows not wide enough to allow for something so bright to shine across the floor: Kell was already waiting for him. 

He straightened out of habit when he touched the door handle, letting it swing open with a push to find Kell standing in front of the cold hearth, a fire not yet lit. He didn’t turn away from the mantle even as Alucard’s steps made him well known to the room.

“I promise to keep it short. I know you are tired.” Alucard’s voice sounded terribly hopeful and unstable.

“No.”

Alucard nearly sunk to the floor. He knew Rhy and Kell couldn’t possibly do it every night, but that did nothing to help how empty the room suddenly became. Then Kell’s voice stopped his sorrow from deepening.

“I do not think what he has asked for will be a short affair.”

The silence of the room was broken when Alucard lifted his hand, and fire caught in the hearth at Kell’s feet. Kell finally turned to look at Alucard. His steps were sure as he approached the captain. As he drew closer, Alucard took a stride towards the desk, but Kell’s hand grasped his arm to stop him. He knew he couldn’t hide the confusion on his face and realized he didn’t need to. 

Kell was looking at the floor. He had not let go of Alucard’s arm, only softened his grip. He watched Kell’s eyes lead from the floor to his boots, his body, and landing on his chest for a moment before he closed the distance. 

Alucard wasn’t an idiot. He knew what a kiss looked like well before lips met. His instinct sequestered the first jolt of surprise, and he let himself sink into the softness of Kell’s mouth. 

It was a sweet kiss, almost innocent — there was no mesh of tongue or gasping breath. Hands came to rest on Alucard’s shoulders, and he barely noticed his own reaching to hold the small of Kell’s back. When they parted, neither left the warmth of the other’s arms. 

Kell took a breath, Alucard took a breath, and then Kell spoke.

“He wants more.”

Alucard stopped. Rhy was being selfish with a body that wasn’t his. The blaze that burned on his lips from the feeling of Kell’s did not blind him to that fact. 

“He has asked this of you?” Alucard asked, with a darkness in his voice as the flutter of incredulous anger rose in his gut.

“Yes. The kiss, yes. More, he… has not asked for more,” Kell responded.

“You are offering more?” The edge of darkness in his voice had become a deep steadiness.

Alucard’s steadiness was met with Kell’s flustered rise and fall of his chest and his failing attempts to hold Alucard’s gaze.

“I am.”

~*~

Alucard kissed him, fully, truly. 

Kell let his mouth open at the press of his tongue and melted when Alucard’s hand came to hold his jaw. He could feel his connection to Rhy burn in his nerves, his heart pounding with his own. His hands drew in from Alucard’s shoulders to push his coat down, and Alucard took a breath to do the same. After their coats hit the floor, they met again, moving until Alucard’s hips rested against the desk.

Kell was beginning to see why Rhy couldn’t seem to stay away from Alucard— the man held and touched him like he was something precious. 

The last time he was treated like glass, he felt trapped and useless, but this was nothing like that. Alucard knew when to caress and when to grasp. Kell got bolder as the heat rose between them, pulling the laces at the top of Alucard’s shirt open. The captain stopped him, taking his hands and leading them to the waist line of his pants, where the shirt was still tucked in. Kell’s fingers gathered the fabric and pulled up, watching the pale color give way to the dark expanse of Alucard’s skin. 

His mind slowed for a moment as he realized Rhy would not feel this. He would not feel the shirt’s light fabric in his palms. He didn’t need to do it— he  _ wanted _ to. 

His frazzled thought ended as he lifted the shirt fully, watching the muscles in Alucard’s chest roll as he flung the shirt away. 

~*~

Alucard felt his skin prickle at the cold air as his shirt came off. 

He enjoyed watching Kell’s eyes linger on his body for a moment before they held his gaze again. He reached to pull the man flush against him, taking his time moving his lips from behind his ear to his neck, stopping there to nip and suck. Kell arched slightly under his mouth, and Alucard let a smile press against the now reddened skin at the thought of it.

He had been worried that Kell would simply let him touch his skin for the sake of Rhy, but Kell’s hands found their way across Alucard’s body with fervor. Alucard stopped those hands again to pull Kell against him. He swung them around, not even pausing before lifting Kell so he sat on the desk, his legs parted around Alucard’s hips.

Kell looked scandalized for only a second, then tugged the back of the captain’s head down to kiss him again. Alucard leaned forward, taking them down to lay across the desk. Alucard pulled back, and Kell sat up to chase his kiss but was met with Alucard’s hand, splayed over his chest to keep him down. 

Kell’s mouth was decidedly pink in the warm light of the fire when his jaw dropped open as he watched Alucard dip down to pull the lowest lace of his shirt open with his teeth.

“ _ Sanct,  _ Alucard.”

He was never going to forget the wet break in Kell’s voice.

Despite his desire to drag more broken words out of the other man’s throat, he set his fingers to work untying the rest of the shirt, watching it fall to the side of Kell’s body. He didn’t regret his decision in the slightest as he kissed up the line of faint hair to an already hardened nipple. His hand came to press Kell down again when his chest lifted as Alucard sucked hard on the pert skin. The heat already pooling below his waist turned into a burn as he felt Kell close his legs around him, pulling their hips together, leaving only the cloth of their pants between their obvious needs. 

~*~

Kell opened his eyes in the briefest moment of shock when he pulled his legs in and realized he had Alucard’s hips slotted against his own, the evidence of Alucard’s enjoyment settling into the juncture of his thigh. 

Kell was no virgin. He had taken men before, but those moments had been dark, fleeting moments with a stranger, full of risk and often regret. 

Lila had been a shining moment of understanding, Kell fully realizing what sex could mean, what it meant to someone like Rhy. Kell felt that same pull to Alucard, that same bright feeling, like everything was right. 

Kell swallowed a sound as Alucard’s hand ran up his neck to smooth his copper hair. It stayed there, lightly gripping the locks, keeping Kell’s head pressed to the desk. He revelled in the way Alucard’s mouth paused on his skin when he dragged his nails down his back to dip under the line of his belt. Alucard’s head came up with a ragged breath, and he stood up, finally allowing Kell to follow the movement. 

Their eyes met again and did not break as deft fingers found a buckle, laces, and skin. He hoped his pounding heart read to Rhy as excitement instead of the genuine nervousness he felt. The only sound in the room aside from their breaths and the crackle of the fireplace was the soft clink of Alucard’s pants falling to the floor.

~*~

The moment he was free of his pants, he twined his arms around Kell, lifting him off the desk. Kell stumbled for a moment before sliding his arms around Alucard’s neck. 

He felt unbridled joy at the notion of being strong enough to hold Kell off the ground, and his joy turned to bliss when Kell wrapped his legs around him to continue being held. He kissed Kell again, using the grip he had on his thighs to lower the redhead into the kiss. He set him back on his feet, Kell leaning in for a moment to be held again until he realized what Alucard was doing. 

Alucard grazed Kell’s skin with his fingers as he pushed his shirt fully off. Kell’s hands went to the ties of his trousers, but Alucard stopped them. He took both of Kell’s hands in his own and led him to the bed. 

It was spacious for a sea vessel and had plenty of room for Kell to spend a second flailing after Alucard had twined their limbs again and pushed him onto the bed. The soft sound Kell made was returned by Alucard’s own laughter. He smiled until he looked into Kell’s face. His eyes had widened briefly. He was flushed, and his brows had come together in concern.

“Kell?” 

The sincerity in Alucard’s voice surprised even himself.

“He’s—Rhy is— _ please _ .”

The buck of Kell’s hips told Alucard everything.

~*~

Rhy was touching himself. Kell gripped the soft blanket below him. Rhy was dragging his hand slowly up and down his length, making everything in Kell’s pants burn— he needed to be free of the strain. 

Beyond the haze of his realization, he felt Alucard pull leather and fabric loose, hands slipping around his hips to pull everything down. Kell let go of his breath. Alucard wasted little time as he lifted one off Kell’s legs over his shoulder and Kell closed his eyes to the feeling of warmth taking him in. Rhy must have startled as his body pulsed, while Alucard spread the hand that was not holding Kell’s leg across his abdomen. 

Kell narrowed his thighs around Alucard’s shoulders, took a handful of his dark hair, and arched. 

Not understanding quickly enough how much his joint pleasure with Rhy would affect him, a tremble and a gasp was all the warning he could give before he gave his release to Alucard’s mouth.

~*~

Kell’s body was sweet. Alucard had no issue taking it and swallowing. When he rose up, Kell had melted into the mattress, his hand covering his face, and his chest rising and falling. The thighs that had just a moment ago been pressed against him were now open, letting Alucard slide between them. 

Alucard was still notably hard in his underclothes, but he didn’t worry about that.

“Did he also, uh…”

Kell lifted his hand from his face but still had his eyes closed.

“No. No, he did not.”

Alucard almost laughed, deciding to simply smile instead.

“How terrible, that we must continue this venture.”

He didn’t move. As much as he wanted to lay his body over Kell’s and take him, he waited for Kell to open his eyes.

“Yes, how terrible.”

Kell was smiling. Kell was also moving, too quickly for Alucard to anticipate, and they flipped, Kell settling over his waist. Then Kell’s hands were sliding down his chest, his legs shuffling as he became level with Alucard’s hips. 

He watched Kell’s eyes fall onto his body as the last of his clothing slid off. Kell stopped for only a moment to gently push Alucard’s thighs apart and, leaning on his elbows, to lay between them. Alucard nearly lost himself to the thought of Kell having done this before, as he clearly had. Kell looked him dead in the eye as he opened his mouth around Alucard, looking away only when he lowered himself further to take more in. 

Alucard had been well aroused for long enough before this moment. He knew himself enough to lean up and cup Kell’s jaw, lifting him off his length.

“It will be a very short night if you continue,” Alucard said between breaths.

Kell genuinely laughed.

Alucard’s hand had not left the side of Kell’s face, and his heart pitched as Kell leaned into his touch, letting Alucard pull him up along his body until they were close enough to kiss again. Alucard sat up, pulling Kell into his lap for a moment before speaking.

“Lay down for me.”

~*~

Kell watched Alucard slide over the bed and open a drawer. He had resolved himself long ago to where this was going to lead, and now the moment had come, and Kell couldn’t stop his heart from pounding. He closed his eyes, letting himself search for Rhy, pulling their string taut between them. 

Kell turned over, pulling a pillow under his hips for an angle. He rested his head on his arms and listened to Alucard’s footsteps pause at the edge of the bed. The bed dipped with weight, and a hand rested on his shoulder.

“Kell?”

He turned to look at Alucard, finding him staring back with reverence.

“Is everything alright?” He asked, suddenly worried that Alucard wanted to stop.

“Yes,” Alucard said through a breath. “Everything is fine, but...you didn’t think I was just going to mount you, did you?” 

Kell didn’t fully understand Alucard’s words until he curled a hand under his hip to turn him back over. His face went hot at the realization of how Alucard would see him this way. He parted his legs, and the captain slowed his movements to hold Kell’s leg again, running a hand up the inner thigh to wrap around his ankle, where Alucard pressed a kiss to the bone there. Kell could still feel the burn of his lips after he moved on to his knee, the top of his thigh, and finally leaned up to kiss his mouth. 

The kiss was deep, and Kell only broke it after fingers had found their way to the entrance of his body. Alucard watched him, and he nodded. The burn of the entry was still real, and Kell still tensed. The finger paused, and Kell opened his eyes to find Alucard’s free hand rising to smooth over his cheek and brow bone, lowering again to rub soft circles down his neck. Kell’s heart clenched at the gentle touches. 

The finger inside him began to move, just as gently as the circles lining his collar bone. He relaxed and angled his hips up, feeling ready when another finger pressed in. His hips circled, rocking with the stretch and trying to find the spot he knew was there, letting a breath of frustration rise from his throat when he couldn’t find it. 

He chased the pressure of Alucard’s fingers for several moments before realizing Alucard was smiling at him.

The captain was teasing him.

“You bastard.”

Alucard’s laughter made him smile despite himself.

“I’m sorry. Here.”

~*~

Kell gasped as that spot was finally reached. Alucard gave him no pause, circling his fingers into that spot until Kell was gasping into the crook of his neck. 

He looked down to watch Kell’s legs tighten around him and felt his nails dig into his shoulder blades. Kell relaxed when he pulled both fingers out just enough to stop the pressure, and Alucard took that moment to push a third finger into Kell’s body. 

There was still a stretch, and so he busied his free hand again, this time softly wrapping around Kell’s neck. He knew the motion would capture Kell’s attention, and it did. Pale hands came to hold his wrists, moments from tearing his hand away, his eyes flying up to meet his own. 

Alucard did not put weight into his hand. He did not even fully make contact with his palm, simply grazing the sides of his neck with the pads of his fingers. Kell let his eyes close again and breathed. After the hesitation, he began to spread his fingers, feeling for tension within Kell. When he found none, he slowly pulled out.

“Are you ready?”

~*~

“Yes.”

He thought about the word as it left his mouth. He was ready, he knew his body, and yet time stilled as Alucard spread his knees under Kell’s hips, using his body to angle him. He was brought out of his thoughts when Alucard leaned down to kiss him. He made no motion to enter him or anything else— simply kissed him, pulling his lower lip into his teeth for a moment. 

He leaned back up, leaving Kell breathless. His hand lowered, and Kell braced himself for the heat of Alucard’s body when it entered him. There was just enough pain to make him clench his hands around Alucard’s arms, but not enough to stop the warmth that spread up through his body. 

Alucard stopped to move his hands to Kell’s body, running his palms up his sides and across his chest. Kell caught one of Alucard’s hands and pressed it to his mouth, kissing the inside of his palm. 

“Oh, Kell.” Alucard’s voice was tattered. 

Kell relaxed, pulling Alucard closer with a hand placed where the small of his back met his hip. His heat shifted further inside him making Kell open his mouth to release a soft sound, his breath rising into a gasp as their hips finally met. 

Alucard’s head fell beside Kell’s, close enough for Kell to turn and kiss his jaw, his cheek, and even move down to his shoulder. Alucard took his time stroking Kell’s body. He reached to find Kell’s thigh, gently drawing his nails across the skin, leaving soft red marks. Kell was struck with the reality of what they were doing when he felt Alucard’s hand on his thigh, the other tangled in his hair, and yet the feeling of another’s hand stroke the heat between his legs.

_ Rhy. _

“Oh,  _ sanct,  _ Rhy—he’s, again—”

Alucard moaned deeply into the sheets beside Kell’s head. Kell watched him rise up slightly, pulling his hips back and snapping them forward. Kell rocked back with a pant, gripping the wrist of the hand currently in his hair. 

They found a shallow rhythm together. Kell couldn’t contain the sounds he made between breaths, his jaw falling open when Alucard’s thrusts deepened. Alucard lifted his head from Kell’s shoulder to kiss him, a quick kiss that Kell chased before Alucard stilled his movements. Kell held his gaze as his hand came to wrap around his neck again, truly this time. Kell closed his eyes and let out a breathy moan. Alucard used his new leverage on Kell’s body to drive them together, hips meeting hips. Kell surprised himself as a short, sharp sound left his body. 

Alucard never pressed Kell’s throat enough to cut his breathing but the weight still left Kell reeling for air after every thrust. With Alucard between his legs and Rhy’s hand half a world away, Kell was helpless. His voice grew desperate, and his fingers closed around Alucard’s arm above his chest.

“Alucard, I — please —”

Alucard paused to lean down, briefly laying his weight onto Kell’s throat to whisper in his ear.

“Tell me what you want, Kell.”

Kell couldn’t bring himself to be indignant at the filthy request. 

“ _ Please, don’t stop _ .”

Alucard kissed him and began again, harshly meeting Kell’s hips. He released his throat to take Kell’s wrists in his hands, pressing them into the bed. It should have felt wrong to let Alucard Emery hold him down, but Kell was beyond that. He listened to his own cries build in the darkness of the cabin until it was too much, and he fell into Rhy’s distant touch and the cadence of Alucard’s hips. 

~*~

Alucard knew when Kell had given himself to pleasure. His magic shuddered around him before filling the room with brightness. Alucard watched the light pour from the body beneath him. Eventually, Kell relaxed into the bed, and Alucard pressed himself deep, letting his forehead rest against Kell’s collarbone while his body stuttered. 

He came down from the feeling when Kell tried to move his hands and they both found that Alucard hadn’t let them go. He kept his hands wrapped around Kell’s wrists as he lifted them to his lips, kissing the knuckles, the base of the thumb, and then palms. Kell kept one hand around Alucard’s jaw, drawing him down to kiss him. 

The kiss broke when Kell made a small noise of pain, and he pushed Alucard away slightly to look down at the arm extending up to Alucard’s face. They both looked down for a moment of confusion before Kell lifted Alucards chin to look him in the eyes, his voice a pure sound.

“I love you both.”

_ I love you both _


End file.
